Open Relationships and Threesomes: Why More Couples Are Trying Them
In recent years, the landscape of romantic and sexual relationships has evolved dramatically. A growing number of couples are venturing beyond traditional monogamy and exploring open relationships and threesomes. Whether motivated by curiosity, a desire to enhance intimacy, or the pursuit of personal growth, more people are embracing consensual non-monogamy (CNM) as a valid and fulfilling relationship model.
This article explores why open relationships and threesomes are becoming more common, the psychological and emotional factors involved, and how couples navigate these experiences while maintaining trust and connection.
Changing Definitions of Love and Commitment
For generations, the dominant cultural narrative equated love with exclusivity. Monogamy was not just the norm—it was the only acceptable model of romantic commitment. Today, that view is shifting. As social norms evolve and people seek more personalized approaches to relationships, many are redefining what love and fidelity mean to them.
Open relationships and threesomes fall under the broader umbrella of consensual non-monogamy. Unlike cheating or infidelity, which involve deception and betrayal, CNM is based on mutual agreement, honesty, and transparency. Partners in these relationships may date others, engage in sexual experiences with others (together or separately), or invite a third person into the bedroom—all with clear boundaries and ongoing communication.
This trend doesn’t necessarily reflect a decline in commitment. On the contrary, many people in open relationships report a deeper level of trust and communication with their partners than they experienced in past monogamous relationships.
The Rise of Threesomes
Threesomes, in particular, have captured the imagination of many couples. Whether spurred by erotic fantasy, curiosity, or the desire to explore a bisexual side, inviting a third person into the bedroom has become one of the most common forms of sexual experimentation among couples.
According to several recent studies, a significant portion of adults in the U.S. express interest in having a threesome, and a growing number have already had the experience. The increase in visibility and representation of non-traditional sexual experiences in mainstream media—TV shows, podcasts, and online communities—has helped normalize the idea, making more couples feel comfortable exploring it.
Why Are More Couples Exploring These Dynamics?
1. Greater Emphasis on Communication and Consent
Open relationships and threesomes require a level of communication that goes far beyond the norm in many traditional relationships. Couples must discuss boundaries, insecurities, desires, and logistics in detail. This emphasis on clear, ongoing communication can actually strengthen a couple’s bond.
In fact, many people in CNM relationships report feeling more emotionally supported and less threatened by their partner’s interactions with others than they did in monogamous settings. This isn’t because they’re less jealous or insecure, but because those feelings are acknowledged, talked about, and worked through collaboratively.
2. Desire for Sexual Variety
Let’s be honest: sexual monotony is a common concern in long-term relationships. While emotional intimacy may deepen over time, sexual desire can sometimes diminish. For some couples, introducing new partners or experiences is a way to reignite that spark without sacrificing the stability of their primary relationship.
Threesomes, for example, allow couples to explore new dynamics, fantasies, and roles. For some, it’s a one-time adventure. For others, it becomes a recurring part of their sexual lifestyle.
3. Increased Visibility and Cultural Acceptance
Social media, dating apps, and pop culture have all played a role in increasing awareness and acceptance of open relationships and threesomes. Platforms like TikTok and Reddit host thriving communities where people share their experiences, seek advice, and find support.
Celebrities and influencers who openly discuss their non-monogamous relationships also help to normalize these practices. As a result, people who might have once felt ashamed or isolated in their desires now see that they are far from alone.
4. Personal Growth and Self-Discovery
For some, exploring non-monogamy is less about sex and more about self-discovery. Being in an open relationship or engaging in a threesome can challenge deeply held beliefs about love, jealousy, ownership, and identity.
By facing those challenges, people often grow emotionally and gain a clearer understanding of their values, needs, and boundaries. This kind of growth can be deeply empowering and lead to more fulfilling relationships—both with others and with oneself.
The Role of Technology
Technology has made it easier than ever to explore open relationships and threesomes. Dating apps like Feeld, 3Fun, and OkCupid offer specific settings for non-monogamous individuals and couples looking for like-minded partners. These platforms provide a safer, more targeted way to meet people who are open to CNM or group encounters.
Technology also facilitates education. From YouTube videos to online courses to dedicated forums, there is a wealth of information available for anyone curious about how to ethically explore these dynamics. This helps reduce stigma, encourages responsible behavior, and promotes healthy emotional processing.
Navigating Challenges
Of course, open relationships and threesomes aren’t without challenges. Miscommunication, jealousy, and emotional fallout are real risks. However, these issues can often be mitigated through intentionality, honesty, and regular check-ins.
1. Jealousy and Insecurity
Jealousy is a normal human emotion. The difference in CNM relationships is that it’s treated not as a taboo, but as something to understand and manage. Couples in open relationships often develop tools to cope with jealousy, such as:
- Reassurance and affirmations
- Time management and scheduling
- “Aftercare” following new experiences
2. Setting Boundaries
Boundaries are essential. For threesomes, this might include rules about who chooses the third person, what acts are allowed, or whether the experience is one-time or ongoing. In open relationships, boundaries might cover emotional involvement with others, frequency of encounters, and transparency around dates.
Clear agreements help avoid misunderstandings and protect the core relationship.
3. Ethical Considerations
Ethics play a major role in CNM. All parties involved—whether a couple or a third person—should be informed, consenting adults. It’s crucial to avoid objectifying or using a third person solely as a tool to fulfill a fantasy. Respect and care for everyone’s well-being is non-negotiable.
The Psychology Behind It
Many therapists and psychologists are recognizing the validity of CNM and its potential to create meaningful, secure relationships. Research has shown that people in consensually non-monogamous relationships are just as happy—if not more so—than those in monogamous ones.
A 2017 study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that individuals in CNM relationships reported similar levels of relationship satisfaction, psychological well-being, and sexual satisfaction as their monogamous peers. What mattered most wasn’t the structure of the relationship, but the quality of communication, emotional support, and mutual respect.
Moreover, exploring non-monogamy can help some individuals unlearn societal scripts that link love with possession or control. This can lead to healthier, more autonomous relationship dynamics.
Real-Life Stories
To understand the appeal and complexity of these experiences, it helps to hear from people living them.
Emma and Ryan, a married couple in their 30s, started exploring threesomes after five years of monogamy. “We had a solid relationship, but the spark was fading,” Emma says. “One night, we talked about fantasies, and both of us admitted we were curious about being with another woman.”
After months of discussing boundaries and expectations, they met someone through an app and arranged their first threesome. “It wasn’t perfect,” Ryan admits. “There were nerves and awkward moments. But afterward, we felt closer than ever.”
They’ve since had a few more experiences and maintain that the key to success is open communication and respect—for each other and the third person.
Is This Lifestyle for Everyone?
No. And that’s okay.
Open relationships and threesomes are not a universal solution. Some people thrive in monogamous relationships and have no interest in exploring alternatives. Others may try non-monogamy and realize it doesn’t suit them. The point isn’t to suggest one model is superior, but to acknowledge that people are diverse, and relationship styles should reflect that diversity.
What’s important is making informed, intentional choices based on your values, needs, and circumstances—not on societal pressure or fleeting trends.
Tips for Couples Considering Non-Monogamy
- Talk Honestly and Often
Before taking any steps, have multiple conversations with your partner. Talk about motivations, fears, and fantasies. Ask, “What are we hoping to gain from this?” - Start Slow
Don’t rush into a threesome or open relationship. Take time to read, talk to others, and prepare emotionally. - Establish Clear Boundaries
Be specific about what is and isn’t okay. Revisit and revise boundaries as needed. - Use Trusted Platforms
If looking for third partners or other connections, use platforms that prioritize safety and consent. - Practice Safe Sex
Use protection, get tested regularly, and discuss sexual health openly. - Seek Support
Consider seeing a therapist familiar with CNM to help navigate the emotional aspects.
Conclusion
As societal norms continue to evolve, more couples are redefining love, trust, and intimacy on their own terms. Open relationships and threesomes are no longer taboo for many—they’re avenues for exploration, growth, and connection. While not for everyone, these relationship styles offer valuable insights into human desire, emotional resilience, and the endless ways people can
